Let's be honest, in life we all would love second chances. This isn’t
a perfect world. And neither are we.
It’s human nature to test the boundaries, try to do it our own way, and as much as we hate it, we naturally like to touch the hot element from time to time. Human behaviour tells us that very few things are mastered the first time around and we rarely get
things right the first time. If we did - we would be perfect; games would be scoreless and business would be a game of stalemate. Take a look at almost every major accomplishment in a
person’s life - it starts with the decision to try something again after gaining the
experience & perspective from the first time.
However, there is
a fine line with maximizing another chance or opportunity versus thinking that these chances will continually arise
time & time again. They just don't. And if we believe they do...then that can be referred to becoming dependent on something or someone. No different than a child, person, organization or country that is always bailed out of debt. If they learn to believe that it will continually happen - then they wil never change the behaviour to protect it moving forward.
So, how can we positively adjust our attitude toward
future opportunities and take advantage of the times that give us another
kick at the can?
1. Put the past behind us.
What’s done is done. When life throws us nasty
curveballs it typically doesn’t make any sense to us at that moment. Our natural reaction
is fuelled by emotion and not logic - and we will tend to react initially and then follow up with blame or excuses. But how does this help our dilemma?
Obviously, it doesn’t.
The smartest, and oftentimes hardest thing we can do
in these kinds of situations is to be more tempered in our reactions. Removing
ourselves from the scenario, thinking logically about the situation, and
remember that tragedies are rarely as bad as they seem, and even when they are,
they give us an opportunity to learn.
Every difficult moment in our lives is accompanied by
an opportunity for personal growth and creativity. But in order to attain
this growth and creativity, we must first learn to let go of the past. We
must recognize that difficulties pass like everything else in life. And
once they pass, all we’re left with are our unique experiences and the lessons
required to make a better attempt next time.
2. Identify the lesson.
Everything is a life lesson. Everyone you meet,
everything you encounter, every moment in time that you live should provide you with additional thought, perspective, or lessons. They’re all part of the learning
experience we call ‘life.’
Never forget to acknowledge the lesson, especially
when things don’t go your way. If
you don’t get a job you wanted or a relationship doesn’t work, it only means that
you either (a) weren’t ready to take it on, (b) it wasn't the best fit at this moment in time OR (c) a better fit is out there
waiting. And the lesson you just learned is the first step towards it.
3. Lose the negative attitude.
Negative thinking creates negative results.
Positive thinking creates positive results. Period.
When your child strikes out for the first time, they
need to realize that it will happen again because if they don’t, they may fear
the opportunity to ever hit the ball off the bat again. And guess what…the
likelihood of hitting the ball decreases the more the child stresses, worries, or thinks negatively about the outcome.
The mind must believe it can do
something before it is capable of actually doing it. Whether you call it
confidence or ‘the secret’ – it works in our favor!
4. Accept accountability for your current or past situation.
Either you take accountability for your life or
someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas
and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own.
You are the only one who can directly control the
outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person
has a list of challenges & obstacles in front of them. You must take
accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Giving excuses, blaming others/situational items, or choosing not to take accountability…is giving up.
5. Focus on the things you can change.
Some forces are out of your control. The best
thing you can do is do the best with what’s in front of you with the resources
you do have access to.
Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on
things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and
stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can change not in the
actions (or lack of actions) of others. Seriously. Don't take on other people's problems, issues, or inadequacies.
6. Figure out what you really want.
You’ll be running on a hamster wheel forever if you
never determine who you are, why you do the things you do, what you value, and
what your strengths are. This clarity provides the opportunity to understand
where you want to go. Figure out what’s meaningful to you so you can be
who you were born to be or even better - WANT to be.
Some of us were set out to be musicians – to communicate
intricate thoughts and rousing feelings with the strings of a guitar.
Some of us were set out to be poets – to touch people’s hearts with exquisite
prose. Some of us were set out to be entrepreneurs – to create growth and
opportunity where others saw failure. And still, some of us were set out to
be or do whatever it is, specifically, that moves you.
Don’t quit just because you didn’t get it right on
your first shot. And don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s
dreams and desires. You must follow your intuition and make a decision to
never give up on who you are capable of becoming while being realistic with
yourself, your fit, and your abilities.
7. Eliminate the crap.
First, identify the essential – the things in your
life that matter most to you. Then eliminate the fluff. Anything that is a 'waste of time' or isn't positively contributing to your life.
This drastically
simplifies things and leaves you with a clean slate – a fresh, solid foundation
to build upon without needless interferences. This process works with any
aspect of your life – work projects, relationships, general to-do lists, etc.
Remember, you can’t accomplish anything if you’re
trying to accomplish everything. Concentrate on the essential. Get
rid of the rest. You will see a drastic improvement of your time management which results in drastic improvement with your forward progress.
8. Maintain self-control and be prepared.
The harder you work the luckier you will become.
Shocking we know!
Oprah Winfrey believes that "luck is when
opportunity meets preparation" and there is some validity to that
statement.
The
people that are more prepared at the time when opportunity arises, they will
have a higher chance at taking advantage of those opportunities. So what that
tells us, is that the people that are more diligent with their focus, tighter
with their plans, and put more effort into items on a daily basis...will be
more 'lucky' - when essence they have just earned their so called 'luck'.
9.
Just GET IT DONE.
Nike
said it best with their infamous slogan "JUST DO IT"!
Stop waiting around for things to work out. If
you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.
While many of us decide at some point during the
course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of
us actually work on it. By “working on it,” we mean truly devoting
oneself to the end result. The rest of us never act on our decision.
Or, at best, we pretend to act on it by putting forth an uninspired, half-assed
effort.
If
you want a real second chance, you’ve got to be willing to give it all you
got. No slacking off! This means you have to strengthen and
maintain your self-control. Remember, life is not easy & it's not
going to be filled with balance 24/7 365 days per year for our lifetime.
When you plan on achieving something worthwhile and devote to making
something happen of significance - it will most likely be 'work'!
10. Forget about
impressing people.
So
many people buy things they don’t need with money they don’t have to impress
people they don’t know. Or some variation thereof…
Don’t
be one of these people. It’s a waste of time. And it’s probably one
of the reasons you need a second chance in the first place. Just keep doing what you know is right. And if
it doesn’t work, adjust your approach and try again. You’ll get there
eventually.